Passing Through Oklahoma

Last night was spent in Oklahoma City.  It was warmer than Kansas City, for which I'm grateful, but it wasn't a warm, fuzzy experience to go back there after 14 years.  As RBK puts it, "I didn't get nostalgic, seeing it again."

Oklahoma is a curious place.  RBK and I lived there for 18 months when our kids were young.  This was shortly after the Oklahoma City bombing and folks were still reeling from the shock and loss a year or two afterward.  Driving through rural Oklahoma on this trip brought back strong memories of that time; even painful.  Living there was a difficult for our family, having moved several times in a few years and this move made all of us feel very out of place.  The photo to the right shows a typical pastoral scene there.  I found all the brown and gnarly trees depressing.

Since our time there, I've read about the collective consciousness of a region or country.  This theory asserts, among other things, that the history of a place is reflected in the consciousness of the people who reside there. The Trail of Tears, the Land Rush, the Dust Bowl of the 30's and the OKC bombings all occurred within a 160 year span in Oklahoma.  The spiritual part of me feels this collective heaviness when I'm in Oklahoma.  I feel sad when I'm there.  I see and feel it in the faces of the people I meet or pass:  in a store, restaurant, hotel or street.  When we lived there, we owned a beautiful home, worked hard to meet friends, yet I could not shake the feeling that I did not belong there.  My children felt this as well and my daughter still talks about living there as though she was a visitor--outside looking in.  We did not share the collective catastrophic experiences of the people of Oklahoma and this created a division between them and us.

RBK and I passed through this region today and it was a reminder of our family history.  Living there and experiencing this is a part of our family's collective consciousness.  I think of that time and am grateful for what it provides for me now:  a sense of belonging to Michigan and a love of home.  I'm reminded that "home," wherever and whatever that may be, is important to each one of us.  Today, I celebrate the passages of life that hopefully always bring us back to our home.